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Let's be honest with ourselves...

I can't bring myself to give this more than a 7/10 right now. The jokes were decent and your art style is quality, however, the pure lack of actual animation turned me off to the whole thing. I never felt like anything was happening, even in the club scene. Had you spent a few more hours drawing just a few more poses and using some different camera angles this could have been awesome.

I will say that for a true short, this style works well. This submission was a tad too long for it, though. Also, some of your jokes would have benefited from a little bit more physical presentation.

I really like your stuff, but I guess what I'm trying to say is you need to work on your pacing and staging before you reach the quality I demand in a 10/10 worthy flash.

Also, :3 , >:( , and 8===D

BiffTheTimid responds:

I demand those extra 3 points.

Nice...for now

For your first submitted solo project, this wasn't bad at all. I lol'd and had a good time watching it. The animation was done well and you clearly took the time to make things look good.

I don't have sound enabled where I'm sitting right now, so I can't say anything about that.

The problem with this short is that...well, it's too short. I was hoping more would happen, if just a little bit. In my opinion, things like this are better submitted in collections with a menu where the viewer can select from at least five shorts.

Because of the length, I cannot give this more than 3/5 and 7/10. However, I commend you on your talent and patience (fbf is a B and a half). Can't wait for more in the future!

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Tawnik responds:

Im sad and sick (not because of you)
so you're trying to tell me that the animation was okay, you laughed and you enjoyed the animation but just because it wasnt long its supposed to have low score ? Okay, no problem, I just didnt thought about animations this way.

Humor and Nostalgia = tada

^Disregard nonsensical title.

This was animated incredibly well. I'd venture to say you will rival Adam Phillips soon enough. Although some of the voices were a bit off at times, and the humor wasn't always funny enough, this animation not only kicks ass, but makes me want to bust out my N64.

I would suggest working on your lip syncing a tad, but it wasn't a huge problem. The biggest issue I have with this Flash is the writing, which is awkwardly paced and could do with some brushing up.

I can't wait to see your next piece. Props to the actors too, who did a good job despite a few botched lines.

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It shows some effort

You obviously put some effort into this, although most of it was misplaced in grabbing graphics off Google. Your rain effect was almost great, but lacked a quality I can't describe easily. Let's just say it was too opaque.

The climax took a little too long, and had I not been interested to see where this Flash was going, I wouldn't have stayed to watch it. You could have had more action before the dude was "smited[sic]."

To sum this up, you could clearly take your Flash to the next level with a little more effort. Make animations more complex and instead of images, create your own graphics.

I'm giving this 4/10 and voting 2 because it's not where it needs to be and it could definately be better if you put more time in.

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sman5922 responds:

Thank you for the constructive critism, I will take your advice and make a better flash.

So short, but...

I can't give this higher than a two because of its length, but I will say that the character animation was quite good, for what little there was. You're definitely talented, though!

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Wonderful for a First!

This was done very well for a university project. Nice. Your camera work is a little choppy, so I would work on that, and your lighting could improve.

If you did an entire movie in the style the beginning was in (with the black background and white models) it could be really cool...very artistic.

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Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn.

Will Gallagher @Halvgoeden

30, Male




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